Thursday, August 6, 2009

What they don't tell you about Motherhood.... (Guest Post)

Guest Post Today is by Jen from "A Busy Mom"


It was five years ago when I found out we were going to have our first child. 5 whole years. It seems as though a soon as I told that first family member, the advice started rolling in. Things like "Be sure to drink lots of water", and "sleep now, because when the baby comes you wont get to!"

Now, with pregnancy and parenting, advice is almost sure to follow, both wanted and unwanted. But what I have to wonder is why doesn't anyone tell new moms and moms to be the real stuff? You can only hear "sleep when your baby sleeps" so many times without wanting to ring the advisers neck! (And by the way, that only works with the first child)

Now that I am half way through my second pregnancy, I find myself thinking of the real stuff. All the stressful, tearful moments that I had with my first child. Though I'm happy that I am better prepared this time, cause I've been through it once, I still feel that more First Time Parents should be forewarned.

So, Here is my advice for New Parents: (Wanted or Unwanted)

1. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, but well worth the struggle. Your nipples will hurt, split, bleed and who knows what else. If you can, plug through it! It is worth it and much easier on the pocket book.

2. You will have days when you sit on the floor and cry...you may even cry harder than the baby in the other room. It is OK! It happens to the best of us.

3. As much as your hubby/boyfriend/significant other says they will help, chances are you will put all the pressure on yourself, and you will feel the stress from it! Mom is a hard name to live up to, but you can do it. Remember to accept help that is offered graciously. Any break that you may get it worth it. Just because they don't do it the same as you, doesn't mean it isn't right.

4. Don't expect to sleep through the night for the next 5-10 years, depending on your child. Many moms go into motherhood thinking that their child will start to sleep through the night after the first few months. To some very lucky moms this happens. To the rest of us, we get woken at least once per night with a wet bed, nightmare or just a lonely child who needs some late night cuddles.

5. The food you feed your child DOES affect their temper. Watch what your kids eat, and their energy levels and attitude. Sometimes cutting out that afternoon snack will make them much happier in the evening.

6. And Last, Children Are Sponges! Yes, I know you've heard this before, but don't let this one go as just another piece of advice. You may not know their watching or listening, but the are. They could be in another room playing away, they hear every word you say and they WILL mimic it. Maybe not to you, and maybe not right away. But they will remember and they will use it. Be careful not to put people down or belittle them in front of your children, or they will learn to do the same. And folks, It only takes once.

So these are many of the things that no one told me, or I didn't take heed to, so if you can guess, I have a 4.5 year old little boy who doesn't sleep through the night, reacts like a mad man when he drinks anything red, has the attitude of a teenager and he has a very tired mommy. But...I wouldn't trade him in for anything. My beautiful boy terrorizes my daily. Despite all my frustration, all my tears, headaches, spills and messes I love Him more than anything in the world. All he needs to do is smile, and all my stress is gone. When he screams "Mom...Maaawwwmm!" and I rush in with a "What!!!" and all he wants to say is "I Love You" It makes it all worth it.

It's funny how those four little words can make everything else melt away..."I Love You Mom"


Jen is the owner/editor of "A busy Mom" blog. I would like to thank her for the wonderful post full of advice on parenting. Hear more from Jen at www.abusymommy.com.

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